Friday, November 7, 2008

Who's that knockin on my door????

It seems as if our past has not left us. I knew we were never safe from the old issues that haunt us, they are a part of us, the thread of our being. I guess you never are prepared for a slap in the face though, right?
Well, I can't be so sensitive. I tell myself that over and over again, but it is also part of my thread.
What's the matter? I got a phone call from the kindergarten teacher today. The phone call I was anxiously awaiting back in September. I was prepared for it back then. I thought since all this time has passed that we were safe. Hah.
The teacher wanted to touch base with me and inform me that my son has been an impulsive hyper fiasco the last three weeks. Those were not her words, and I am not mad at her at all. I know how my son can be and to be honest he has been off for a while. He gets up really early full of crazy unbridled energy. My parents noted it too the other day. We spent the day there and I got a 'boy, he never stops does he'. My father said he had to do a head count to make sure there wasn't more than one child in the room. The teacher said it seems impossible for him to sit still, he must be moving at all times and that it's becoming more and more difficult for him to get his work done. She also said he is up in other kid's faces. Ugh.
I know what she is saying, I also know that the kid has had someone on top of him since he was 18 mo of age. I kind of feared that this new found freedom would backfire. She feels he cannot help it. Me being ingrained with the behaviorist philosophy is not so sure. I think it's a combo of a few things operating. I think there is an adhd component, I think there is an immaturity component. I think there are significant ot/sensory issues that need to be addressed and I think there is the fact that my son is a self-directed control freak. I think he needs to have some support in place and I feared that taking it all away in June would somehow have negative impact on us, I think I am almost surprised it took this long to unfold. The honeymoon is over.

It's hard, it hurts, I feel like I am failing my son. But I also know that it's part of his personality, it's part of what makes him awesome, it's also part of what makes it hard for him. Is it spectrum? Is it adhd? Who the hell knows anymore. I just think it's time to take a step back and put some of the old things in place that helped. I suggested a token economy stat. Nothing whips my boy back into shape better than a little index card full of smiley faces with the promise of a treasure box. So she is going to do that on Monday. I also think some o.t. is in order. I would also like a social skills class to work on 'proximity issues'. Should I start writing a list to Santa? Here is where I slip into advocate mom mode. I will tap into my inner pit bull (in between crying).

It makes me so sad/anxious/horrified to think about my son not being able to function in his classroom. I don't want the kids not to like him. I was really worried about this and it seemed like as soon as I was able to relax a little bit, it busted open the door without a warning. I guess I needed to be humbled.

So we will plow on. My husband and I are really going to buckle down on the consistency and structure at home. It's going to be tense, my son is a real ballbuster sometimes and he knows how to play us. We haven't been real great in the past as co parents, we kind of do our own thing, but I think it's time for a united front.

I have thought long and hard about any thing different over the last few weeks, food wise, or otherwise. I can't seem to come up with anything. I pretty much fried my motherboard doing the gfcf biomedical protocol. I am wondering if we are dealing with anything in that realm. Maybe cod liver oil will make it all go away.....


~Momster said...

The time change, too. My kids (and *I*) have been off and I blame that. They've also been eating like they're in a major growth spurt.

Sending you hugs...

Anonymous said...

I am sorry to hear that things are not going well. Putting some supports back in place will probably help a lot.

Whenever things get out of control like that here it takes me a while to realize how down hill we are going. It is as if I begin to work twice as hard and then all of a sudden it hits and I am like, "Woah! What is going on." That is typically when we go back to the neurologist for a med. tweak.

Hang in there. hugs.

Queen of the Binge said...

I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough time. K is a hard adjustment for all kids. I'm sure putting back some of the structure will whip him right back into shape :)
Never get down on yourself. You have done and a wonderful job and have a great kid :)

Laurie said...

I second a wonderful job. We all have "rough periods" including kids. Can I recommend a great book? Kids in the Syndrome Mix of ADHD, Autism My son is diagnosed ADHD, but has many traits of autism. They really overlap, and the book helped me realize it. Our neurodevelopmental dr recommended it. Hang in there.

kristi said...

Hope things get better. TC is "all boy" too. And my daughter is a talkaholic. So I never get a break! word verification is HORABIL.....LOL!!