On Facebook...

I haven't been around much here lately. My site meter stats are sad. I was sucked into the vortex of total time waste that is facebook.

To be honest, about a month ago, I really didn't know what it was. I never caught on to the myspace craze either. I felt a little too 'long in the tooth' for that. One night I went out to dinner with some friends and they were talking about it, and a picture that one of my friends had posted of himself. I wanted to see the picture. So I signed up.

It was overwhelming at first. Also, seeing all the pictures of people I went to high school almost 25 years later was kind of frightening. It brought back lots of uncomfortable memories. I know it might be hard to believe, but I wasn't exactly popular. I also felt like I was coming down with early onset Alzheimer's due to the fact that I vaguely remembered half the people on there that I supposedly graduated with. The names were kind of familiar but the faces, no. It was strange.

Then I started a farm. I really don't need to start a farm. There are much better things I could be doing with my time. I get terribly caught up in things like that. I have a self imposed ban on all Sims games. I must not be allowed anywhere near a computer with that installed on it. You would not see me for a few days and I would emerge from a binge with a large red diamond spinning atop my head. Back in the day before any real responsibilities, I would come home from work and start playing that game, only to realize that I hadn't eaten dinner and it was now four in the morning and I would be getting ready for work in a couple of hours. I can't say I love that game, it really had some kind of sick power over me. I am veering off topic. I guess my point is that I have to watch myself with computer games.

It's all in the applications. Super Poke me, pass me a drink, throw me a snowball, help save the rain forest. How old am I again? Well, lol, roflmao, and all that other good stuff. Care to take a quiz? What, laundry? Later for that. Dinner? Have some cereal. I have to pick my virtual strawberries before they rot.

I think that I feel most depraved and voyeuristic when I am looking up other people's friends. Really bon, don't you have better things to do with your time? Isn't Dog the Bounty Hunter on? Sometimes though, you can find out some really interesting things. One of my facebook friends, has a friend on her page who, well, I can't really say what it is about her, other than she is not operating on the same system as I am. I have seen her 'in real life' dressed up in clothes that I have only seen in magazines, with makeup on that rivals boy george. So I took a peek into her world and dare I say I am really jealous of her assortment of friends. My proud little box of 27 friends pales in comparison to her pages and pages of semi famous faces. Some of them I didn't even know were people. I guess I always figured that Christian Loboutin (or however you spell his name) was just a figurehead for a bunch of shoe snobs who came up with the brilliant idea of red soles on really pricey pointy shoes. I didn't imagine he could possibly be a mere facebook account having mortal. There were more too, I think a few magazines, and Lindsey Lohan's girlfriend.

I could go on and on about this. Don't even get me started on the instant messaging feature. It's a little too stalkerish for me. There must be a way to not announce to your 27 friends that you are indeed wasting time on facebook. This prompts another time waster to contact you and waste even more time.

I don't know if I have any readers left. Probably after this post I won't for sure.

I think my son is a republican...

My friend Leslie had an Obama victory party today. I took bubs with me as my date, since my husband had to work. When we got to her house, I explained to him that we were going to celebrate our new president Barak Obama. I took him with me to vote, so we have discussed this before, and I know they talk about it in school. I didn't know to what extent, but I believe I do now.
After I told him about the cause for our party, he informed me that he no longer liked Barak Obama. He said, and I quote:

"Me and Zachary, we don't like Barak Obama".
"Why not? Said I.
"Because he is going to take away all my money and my toys". (I should add that he was really concerned about this!)
"Not all of them, I said, just 20%"- Ok, I didn't really say that. I don't remember what pearls of wisdom I offered up.(For the record, I did vote for Obama)

I was stunned on many levels. Stunned to know that my boy is discussing politics with a 2nd grader on the bus. Stunned at his ability to recall. Stunned that he seemed to sum up what my father has been trying to drill into me during the whole election, and probably stunned that he is able to have that kind of conversation with me, and stunned that I could have given birth to a conservative republican. I really do take it for granted that he is paying attention to what people say. That's scary- I better watch what I say around him.

It has been a tough week for me, I really appreciated this little conversation with my sweet son today.

Who's that knockin on my door????

It seems as if our past has not left us. I knew we were never safe from the old issues that haunt us, they are a part of us, the thread of our being. I guess you never are prepared for a slap in the face though, right?
Well, I can't be so sensitive. I tell myself that over and over again, but it is also part of my thread.
What's the matter? I got a phone call from the kindergarten teacher today. The phone call I was anxiously awaiting back in September. I was prepared for it back then. I thought since all this time has passed that we were safe. Hah.
The teacher wanted to touch base with me and inform me that my son has been an impulsive hyper fiasco the last three weeks. Those were not her words, and I am not mad at her at all. I know how my son can be and to be honest he has been off for a while. He gets up really early full of crazy unbridled energy. My parents noted it too the other day. We spent the day there and I got a 'boy, he never stops does he'. My father said he had to do a head count to make sure there wasn't more than one child in the room. The teacher said it seems impossible for him to sit still, he must be moving at all times and that it's becoming more and more difficult for him to get his work done. She also said he is up in other kid's faces. Ugh.
I know what she is saying, I also know that the kid has had someone on top of him since he was 18 mo of age. I kind of feared that this new found freedom would backfire. She feels he cannot help it. Me being ingrained with the behaviorist philosophy is not so sure. I think it's a combo of a few things operating. I think there is an adhd component, I think there is an immaturity component. I think there are significant ot/sensory issues that need to be addressed and I think there is the fact that my son is a self-directed control freak. I think he needs to have some support in place and I feared that taking it all away in June would somehow have negative impact on us, I think I am almost surprised it took this long to unfold. The honeymoon is over.

It's hard, it hurts, I feel like I am failing my son. But I also know that it's part of his personality, it's part of what makes him awesome, it's also part of what makes it hard for him. Is it spectrum? Is it adhd? Who the hell knows anymore. I just think it's time to take a step back and put some of the old things in place that helped. I suggested a token economy stat. Nothing whips my boy back into shape better than a little index card full of smiley faces with the promise of a treasure box. So she is going to do that on Monday. I also think some o.t. is in order. I would also like a social skills class to work on 'proximity issues'. Should I start writing a list to Santa? Here is where I slip into advocate mom mode. I will tap into my inner pit bull (in between crying).

It makes me so sad/anxious/horrified to think about my son not being able to function in his classroom. I don't want the kids not to like him. I was really worried about this and it seemed like as soon as I was able to relax a little bit, it busted open the door without a warning. I guess I needed to be humbled.

So we will plow on. My husband and I are really going to buckle down on the consistency and structure at home. It's going to be tense, my son is a real ballbuster sometimes and he knows how to play us. We haven't been real great in the past as co parents, we kind of do our own thing, but I think it's time for a united front.

I have thought long and hard about any thing different over the last few weeks, food wise, or otherwise. I can't seem to come up with anything. I pretty much fried my motherboard doing the gfcf biomedical protocol. I am wondering if we are dealing with anything in that realm. Maybe cod liver oil will make it all go away.....