Thursday, October 23, 2008

The do over...

So sometimes my sweet boy turns into a monster. He can be very demanding, and sound terribly bratty. It comes over him like a sudden storm and leaves just as fast. It really makes me feel like an idiot as far as disciplining him is concerned. I find myself taking a moment in the midst of it all and wanting to just walk away from the confrontation. Sometimes I do that. Sometimes I just feel stupid and inept at this whole parent thing.
Tonight after watching the obligatory video, and putting on the pj's, it was time to brush the teeth. Needing to be independent, and me respecting that need, I let bubs squeeze the toothpaste onto his toothbrush. I think it's also good for his fine motor skills as well. Bubs has some trouble with this, and it's so hard for me to let him do it himself. Tonight I did, and he squeezed out quite a load of toothpaste. I wiped the overage off the counter and some off the brush (fluoride is a neurotoxin, ya know). That didn't sit well with my son the control freak and a mini tantrum ensued. He wanted to 'do it over' and honestly, the lovaas brainwashed part of my brain didn't think that was such a hot idea, even though the lazy part of me was like 'why not'? I wouldn't let him start over. So he screamed, yelled, kicked. Ran in the other room. I told him if he didn't come back to the bathroom and finish up, by the time I counted to three, he wouldn't get a goodnight story. So he didn't come in by three. In fact he counted to ten after I stopped at three. He came in the bathroom eventually but refused to cooperate. Finally I just stuck the toothbrush in his mouth and brushed. Yeah, not my finest mothering moment but I just didn't want to continue with this crap all night.
He got mad. It took another ten or so minutes to just get him up the steps. He came upstairs and was seriously shocked when I told him no story. He was surprised. Then he was truly sad. Real tears sad. Sobbing. Then he went back downstairs. At this point, I am just seriously worn out with this nonsense. That's when planned ignoring comes in handy, but I think once kids catch on to the concept of it, it becomes a colossal time waster, which they love. He comes back up all calm and composed and happy. He tells me, "I listened now. I went and started over. I brushed my teeth again and I listened this time". He was so pleased with him self.
He then put the book in my hand. He also asked me if his 'land before time' computer game was gone forever (I also took that away in the maelstrom of activity). I explained to him that if he didn't listen to me, and yelled and screamed that he would get things taken away. He would have to earn them back. I made him tell me in his own words what that meant. I told him that yelling, kicking, screaming are not ok. I can't tell if he was yessing me just to get me to shut up. I feel that way about all the men in my life lately.
Then I did something that I would have screamed at my husband for. I read him the damn story. I am sure I'll be paying for that move dearly sometime in the near future.


~Momster said...

Sometimes no matter what you do, you just can't win. So, call it a day and move on, right?

Errr...what if I feel that way myself, but it's only 1:58pm...what's a girl to do? ;) gotta see my word verification characters:


??? LOL

kristi said...

Sounds like my life on a daily basis.

Laurie said...

I would have read him the story too, and yelled at my husband for it as well. Sometimes we have to choose our battles, and as I like to say, "That's a hill I won't die on." Here's to hoping for easier days!

Cyndi said...

Shoot...I missed the giveaway! I've been too addicted to FaceBook lately!
BTW, we use Tom's of Maine neuro-toxin free toothpaste. LOL

bonbon momma said...

Yes,some days are longer than others.
I will have to use that 'hill I don't want to die on' sometime. I like that!
Cindy- I have been addicted to face crack myself!