It's beginning to look a lot like christmas...

My son has graduated from the noggin channel to discovery channel kids. I am so proud... It seems just yesterday we were watching blues clues and oswald, and now, well, now we are enjoying shows such as 'grossology', and 'kenny the shark'. We are also enjoying commercials. This has been my son's first exposure to commercials. I will describe to you what happens now. My son will be sitting on the couch, enjoying his show. A commercial will come on. I watch his profile, the concentration is so endearing to me. Then I see his mouth move, and the words 'I want that, Mom!' are produced. If I don't respond, the cries will get louder..."I want that MOM!!!". I usually just say,' Ok'. I acknowledge the want, yes, but promise nothing. It doesn't matter what the toy is either. My son is not picky. He loves all plastic crap equally, pink and sparkly, or rugged and tough. He saw a lovely cupcake machine that he wanted the other day. It brought back such memories of my betty crocker oven. I even imagined owning it. He wanted a nail polishing machine too, but after the commercial was over, he sadly muttered "I think that's for girls mom". Trying not to gender stereotype, I said 'yes, but you can want it too, that's ok'. Am I lame or what?

I have been trying to turn this into a language arts assignment. Now when he sees something he 'wants' I tell him we can add it to his letter to santa.

Now I don't know who the target audience is for the discovery kids channel is at 7:15 on a weekday morning. I kind of thought it was kids, but maybe it has been learned through rigorous market research that a large portion of the immobile elderly are also tuning in. There were quite a few commercials for the 'scooter'. My son sees this and of course wants it. I told him that it was for old people who couldn't walk. He insisted it wasn't and told me he was putting it on his Christmas list to Santa.

I hope he is not disappointed on Christmas morning.

The do over...

So sometimes my sweet boy turns into a monster. He can be very demanding, and sound terribly bratty. It comes over him like a sudden storm and leaves just as fast. It really makes me feel like an idiot as far as disciplining him is concerned. I find myself taking a moment in the midst of it all and wanting to just walk away from the confrontation. Sometimes I do that. Sometimes I just feel stupid and inept at this whole parent thing.
Tonight after watching the obligatory video, and putting on the pj's, it was time to brush the teeth. Needing to be independent, and me respecting that need, I let bubs squeeze the toothpaste onto his toothbrush. I think it's also good for his fine motor skills as well. Bubs has some trouble with this, and it's so hard for me to let him do it himself. Tonight I did, and he squeezed out quite a load of toothpaste. I wiped the overage off the counter and some off the brush (fluoride is a neurotoxin, ya know). That didn't sit well with my son the control freak and a mini tantrum ensued. He wanted to 'do it over' and honestly, the lovaas brainwashed part of my brain didn't think that was such a hot idea, even though the lazy part of me was like 'why not'? I wouldn't let him start over. So he screamed, yelled, kicked. Ran in the other room. I told him if he didn't come back to the bathroom and finish up, by the time I counted to three, he wouldn't get a goodnight story. So he didn't come in by three. In fact he counted to ten after I stopped at three. He came in the bathroom eventually but refused to cooperate. Finally I just stuck the toothbrush in his mouth and brushed. Yeah, not my finest mothering moment but I just didn't want to continue with this crap all night.
He got mad. It took another ten or so minutes to just get him up the steps. He came upstairs and was seriously shocked when I told him no story. He was surprised. Then he was truly sad. Real tears sad. Sobbing. Then he went back downstairs. At this point, I am just seriously worn out with this nonsense. That's when planned ignoring comes in handy, but I think once kids catch on to the concept of it, it becomes a colossal time waster, which they love. He comes back up all calm and composed and happy. He tells me, "I listened now. I went and started over. I brushed my teeth again and I listened this time". He was so pleased with him self.
He then put the book in my hand. He also asked me if his 'land before time' computer game was gone forever (I also took that away in the maelstrom of activity). I explained to him that if he didn't listen to me, and yelled and screamed that he would get things taken away. He would have to earn them back. I made him tell me in his own words what that meant. I told him that yelling, kicking, screaming are not ok. I can't tell if he was yessing me just to get me to shut up. I feel that way about all the men in my life lately.
Then I did something that I would have screamed at my husband for. I read him the damn story. I am sure I'll be paying for that move dearly sometime in the near future.

I picked a winner!

Thank you so much to everyone who entered my first bloggy anniversary giveaway extravaganza. I love reading comments and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to know that you guys are out there in cyberspace! I wish I could send you all a present! But this time, I only have one person, but in my book you are all winners!!!!(How's that for schmaltz?)

Drumroll please.......... The winner of the 'prize pack' is none other than ......

Melissa!!!

My next order of business is to email you! See it pays to come out of lurkdom....

I will definitley be planning more giveaways in the future, perhaps a holiday goody?

Love you all!!!!

A heads up...

It's my first bloggie anniversary on Tuesday and I am gathering some goodies for a giveaway celebration! Stop by then for the deets...

The fruits of my labor...

So I had my first official table as a vendor last week. I was so excited, I sewed my little heart out. Details were paid attention to, tags were added, pricing was done. It was a ton of work but I truly did enjoy the whole process. The turnout was kind of grim, everyone stayed home to watch Sexy Sarah duke it out with Joe 'I had my eyes done' Biden I guess. That and the fact that our economy has crashed and burned before our eyes. But in spite of that it was fun and I sold some stuff to some people who were really excited about my things. I made the cost of the table back, and a little extra for Panera money and hopefully I helped a good cause (it was for the building of a new school for children with autism).

My mother in law came to help me, it was very nice of her to support me and it was good to have the company on my maiden voyage into craft fairdom.

I still have quite a bit of stuff left. I am going to do an etsy store update tomorrow, that has been neglected for a while. I am also going to do another couple of craft fairs in November.

I am also going to do a bloggy giveaway. I have to check and see when my official 'anniversary' is. I cannot believe a whole year has evolved since I decided to spill my guts on the internetz.

Thanks for looking!!!

eta: October 14th will be giveaway day!!!!

Enquiring minds...

This kindergarten/real world business is hard for me. Last night bubs' school had something called 'Family fun night', it was like a mini carnival for the kids and it was held in the gym and the cafeteria. Me being in need of control of my surroundings volunteered to work it. It was my first 'pta event'. I feel like I need to get a handle on this school and maybe make some friends. But I find that we are straddling two worlds here, not entirely comfortable in each. We left the autism world in which we were immersed to join the land of the neurotypicals. Not sure how to toggle both.
First off, I was in the gym manning my bean bag station when a little girl came up to take a turn. Her aunt was with her and I could tell she was in kindy. She had a somewhat unusual name, which I will just abbreviate as 's'. So after hearing her name, I asked 's' if she was in bubs' class. She said yes, and I told her that bubs came home with a picture she made him the first week of school and it was beautiful. She proceeded to tell me how annoying my son was. She actually said 'bubs annoys me'. I asked her just what did he do to bother her so much. You know what her answer was? 'He always is saying 'hello' to me and wants to play with me'. She went on and on and on. Ya know we spent the better part of the last 4 or so years trying to get my son to say the word 'hello' and navigate the maze of social interactions involved in getting someone to play with you. It is hard to kind of regulate, and my bubs does need to learn some boundaries and improve his ability to read social cues. I just don't believe he is as horrible as this little princess made him out to be. In all fairness, her aunt was mortified and she did report back to the girls mom who was manning the popcorn station in the cafeteria.
So now I spent the duration of the evening wondering if my son is socially inappropriate. I got transferred out of the gym and moved to a table in the cafeteria. A woman came up to me and asked me if I was bubs' mom and I said yes. It was 's's' mom. She profusely apologized for her daughters remark. I of course told her it was no problem and that she was just voicing her opinion and that my son is super friendly and doesn't always know when to quit.
I must also explain that bubs' is in the inclusion class. Which means that there are 12 'typical' (and I use that term loosely) in the class and 8 classified. I feel like I need an instruction manual on how to deal with this. At some point in the convo with 's's' mom she of course had to ask me where we lived. This is not our neighborhood school. I told her that, and I told her that my son was one of the inclusion kids, because she looked like she already figured it out. Of course another mom close by who has a daughter in bubs' class scooted on over to join in our convo. Look, they were really friendly but I just felt like I was cornered. 'S's' mom proceeded to ask me what was the matter with my son, and why was he in inclusion. She said she noticed that all the inclusion kids seemed fine and that none of them 'had a third arm growing out of their head, or anything'. Gee, think of all the countless hours of therapy I wasted on my child, since he didn't have the requisite third leg growing out of his skull. I think I had a 'look' on my face because she then said I didn't have to answer if I didn't want to. Oh really. I made up some vagueness about speech delays and early intervention just to end the conversation.

I am VERY proud of bubs and under the right circumstances I will share. But this woman should have controlled her curiosity, and I really think that was all it was. She wasn't mean, just overly nosy. But it was the third time that night someone asked me what bus stop I was at/where I lived/ who is my son's teacher. Normal questions I suppose. Nothing outlandish. But it was a real conversation killer when I delivered my answer. You can almost hear the crickets chirping.
I know I am super sensitive. I probably sound like a paranoid nut job. I just don't know how to handle all this.
We were super insulated, super nurtured and I had a really tight (and still have)bond with some of the moms I met at bubs' old school. It was a wonderful support system. I am now in a world where people don't know where we came from. They think that I came from where they came from. I am not ashamed of my son at all. I am just fiercely protective of him. Fiercely. I never want anyone to not want to be his friend because of a label or to gossip about him, or to even look at him with a strange curiosity. I want them to see the goodness in him, to know that he is an individual. I am afraid people will just hear the word autism and think of rain man or headbanging and be frightened. I also feel like the burden should not be on my child to change their mind about it. I don't know where we are headed down this road, and into or out of those proverbial 'woods'. Once you are 'out of the closet' you cannot go back in.
It's different for everyone. I have friends who have cards they hand out in public places, for the very same reason I don't want to tell anyone. So that people will treat their children with kindness and understanding. They don't want anyone judging if their child is stimming, or having a meltdown. It's really all part of the same post traumatic stress disorder we are collectively going through.
I know I am reading way too much into this. I know most people aren't that judgy (or at least I hope not) . I know that 's's' mom was just being nosy and trying to gain an understanding of what makes a child qualify for special ed, although I really did think her daughter was 'one of us' and perhaps had some social issues. I know. I just don't know how to handle it.

This n that..

So it's been like forever since my last post. Every time something happens around here, I'll think to myself, I should blog about that. But do I? I guess I thought I'd spare you all the minutiae of my every day life (plus I really wanted to use the word 'minutiae' in a sentence).

I have my first event tomorrow for my 'bee happy' business. I have been sewing like a fiend this month. I have officially re named my little sewing sanctuary room into 'ye olde sweatshoppe'. I saved a lot of money on gas this month because as soon as the school bus pulled away I went up there and slaved away. I didn't leave the house for days at a time.So tomorrow is my big day. It should be fun, and hopefully profitable although after all the time and money I have spent sewing my little heart out, I don't think profit is something I can hope for. Especially since the world as we know it is coming to an end. I am just psyched to have my stuff 'out there' for people to see, and if they are kind enough to buy it, then my fragile ego will be soothed (momentarily). It's my first show so I am really doing a little market research to see what sells and what doesn't. I will report back with pics on Friday.
I also want to celebrate my first year blogaversary. I blew off my birthday giveaway that I wanted to do and I want to make it up.

So what else. Soccer is a minor fiasco. We are 'ok' with it, but I feel like a deranged soccer parent sitting in a fold up chair screaming directives at my son. I want him to enjoy it, I don't want to scream. He has this cute habit of playing nicely for two or three minutes and then getting tired and walking off the field as if a game wasn't going on. He insists on sitting down while one lone kid dribbles(or whatever the hell that is called) a ball around a field. My husband cannot take it, it makes him nuts. I admit it's kind of a puzzle (no pun intended) about what to do. I mean I cannot bodily force him to play soccer. I also cannot force him to pay attention. I think it is just magnifying our strange place on the spectrum and it really stresses me out. It's one long hour, I'll tell you. He does seem to 'get it' more a little each week. My goals for him regarding signing up for this nonsense was: to get exercise, to have fun, and to be part of a group. I am not sure we have accomplished any of these goals yet, but we are only heading into our third week. It's a fine line between making him accountable and making him miserable. We are not sports people here.

School has been wonderful though (knock on wood). It's super laid back which is totally not my style but I am trying really hard not to be annoying about it. They are giving bubs speech once a week for now, and the beautiful part about it was that I didn't have to ask and it didn't require a change in his i.e.p.. It was just a matter of 'he needs speech so the therapist cleared a spot for him'. I thought that was unheard of in district. Bubs has never gotten speech believe it or not. He also got an o.t. eval but they are going to call me with the details. He is just filled with such joy waiting for the bus. He absolutely loves everything about school. That is my communication book for now. He comes home with stars on his worksheets and projects in the backpack. It's almost surreal how the slate of the last three years appears to have been wiped clean. I keep waiting for the bottom to drop out. That's how I operate.

Well gentle readers, I hope all is well with everyone. That's my story for tonight.