Crunch time

It's a stresful time around here, well at least for me. Bubs' cse meeting is on February 27th and somehow it's creating mass hysteria at Bubs' school. There have been evals, meetings upon meetings, observations, and discussions on what to 'ask for' with regards to summer services. I have already been informed that bubs will not be eligible for summer services at his current school. I am not sure what the exact reason is. I think it has to do with his school being terrified by the chairperson of our districts special ed committee. They have given her the adorable nickname of 'Pirahana'. Lovely. So at last weeks team meeting they asked me what I was expecting for bubs' summer. Honestly I expected him to be there, but for reasons beyond my control we are being booted out. I was given the reason that given bubs' progress they could no longer justify keeping him there. On a day long ago, that would have given me immense joy. But the older wiser me has a bullshit meter running on overdrive and I know that they just don't think the district will approve it, so they won't bother asking.

So, I said I would ask for bubs to have a shadow go with him to camp (a great camp that I think I am going to have to sell a kidney for, so that he may attend three half days a week). I would also like some extra seit hours on the days he doesn't go to camp. I thought it was fair given that we are going from 36 hours of service to around 10. They told me that the best strategy was to ask for more services than I wanted so that I may have 'bargaining power'. I told them that I didn't realize we were buying a used car here, I thought we were discussing my child. They didn't find that too amusing. I am making peace with whatever happens. Honestly, I think I can keep bubs sufficiently occupied and structured so that his behavior doesn't take a complete nosedive. This is really my biggest area of concern for him and the one he will have the most trouble with in his inclusion class. While I know I can, this is a child who gets up at 6 am full of piss and vinegar, jumping on the bed asking me 'where are we going today?'. If you want me to be brutally honest, part of my disappointment in him not being able to attend the summer session of school is the fact that I am scared he is going to run me ragged with his oh so high activity level. What the hell am I going to do with him all day??????? I am kind of torn between being angry at the school for ditching us, and being wimps for not fighting for us, and maybe embracing the idea that it's time for bubs to experience a little freedom for a change. I know he is definitely up for the challenge, me, that's a whole other bag of beans.