I am happy to report that after two sessions of counseling, my husband and I are cured. Just kidding. But things are much much much better. I think my perception gets out of whack when I am angry. I see everything through angry colored glasses. I am a lot less angry these days. Which is good.
I have always known that my husband and I are polar opposites of each other in many of our personality traits. Being the worrier that I am, (my husband doesn't know what worry is), it has been a concern and a frustration of mine. The things that I once loved and adored in my husband are the things that are slowly driving me insane these days. We are trying to appreciate each other for our differences. I am trying to look at his ability to put off projects that are important to me, as 'spontaneity' and 'laid back-ness' and he is trying to look at my ability to perseverate and stress on things as an 'organizational strength'. I have really tried to dig deep and come up with some concrete answers on why Denmark is such a sore subject with me and he has actually admitted to not taking my wants and needs seriously as of late. So we are definitely moving in the right direction. We are working on our communication skills, which I didn't realize were as awful as they were, now that we are actually communicating.
We are making a promise to spend more quality time together. On Monday night after our 'session' we went out for coffee instead of going right home. On Tuesday night we actually watched a show together, the first time in I don't know how long. We watched 'Autism:The Musical" which I will have to devote a whole other post to, it was that good.
My husband emailed me this article about couples who argue, and how it's actually healthy for you to argue with your spouse. We have been pretty healthy lately.
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5 comments:
Glad to hear you are both heading in the right direction.
And will be interested to hear what you thought about the show!
I'm glad things are going better for you guys. Keep up the good work! :)
Wonderful! Counseling is hard work but usually brings good results. It is great that you are both working hard at it. Sometimes we get in ruts and need to change our schedules to allow for more fun as couples. Happens to J and I all the time.
Can't wait to hear more about the show. I feel so out of it. Everyone is watching it. I hope it comes out on DVD real soon.
Communication is good! Except when you have too much. This doesn't sound like your problem, but I sometimes find that sometimes there are things best left unsaid. By not talking about some things we might, ironically, communicate better.
You also don't mention sex. Here is the bigger paradox: when one is not communicating well, one doesn't feel close and doesn't want sex, but yet having sex helps one to feel close. Have yet to solve that problem...
Marla,
You can watch it on the computer at hbo.com!
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